Why I'm being so honest.

I've been fat my entire life. The times I honestly haven't been fat, I was still convinced I was fat so they barely even count. 

I've exercised, tried eating less, had shakes and pills and lettuce, yet none of it was enough. Working with my surgeon, dietitian and psychologist I know for some people these things were never going to work. 

I believed if I was better, stronger, more disciplined, blah blah blah the weight would come of. Ya know, because that's what society tells you. You're fat because you're lazy and bad! And while I will 100% own lazy, I'm not bad or weak or undisciplined. 

But now I'm going to lose weight. A LOT of weight. All going well in excess of 60-70kg of weight. Thats like an entire person! Seriously its a lot of weight. Initially it's going to come off fast. Really fast. Up to 10kg a month in the early months won't be impossible. 

After 10kg, I might notice a difference. After 20kg, people who know me well might notice a difference. After 30kg I imagine people who vaguely know me might notice a difference. And people will say beautiful, honest things like 'you look great' or 'wow you've lost weight' or 'you're looking really happy' and then 'how have you done it?' and THIS is where the honestly must come in. 

From one fat person to another I cannot and will not support the fat shaming language and ideals of 'just eat less and move more'. I refuse to tell another obese person that my significant weight loss is because I've been 'good', just so they can think 'I've tried being good and it just doesn't work so I won't ask again and just feel shit that she is obviously better at being good than I am'. 

I will tell people that I have had surgery. I will talk about the good and bad of this choice. I will support people who wish to make the same choice for themselves. I will share that while the early loss was fast, those last few kilos I worked my arse off to shift. I will not perpetuate the lie that diet and exercise is enough for everyone. 

I will take the judgement from those in society who think I'm 'cheating' (while silently judging them for 'cheating' with their use of a car, or oven or email) if it means that I'm helping to give other obese people knowledge and choice.